


Anymore

by lotspot



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: (enjolras is always trans and u know it), NB Grantaire, and you should all blame jules, enjoltaire - Freeform, exr - Freeform, i hated doing this to my children, i tore my soul out writing this, im so sorry, inspired by the Frank Turner song Anymore, this is pure and simple unaldulterated pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 07:24:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9224834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotspot/pseuds/lotspot
Summary: Enjolras and Grantaire's relationship was going fine but Grantaire finds himself becoming distant. They don't know if they can look Enjolras in the eye and say "I love you", anymore.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god I'm literally so sorry for writing this. My poor children.

It had all happened so fast. Grantaire had loved Enjolras, that they knew, but Grantaire had been in love before.

When Enjolras had first asked them out it had been like every wish they had ever made was coming true all at once. Grantaire had thrown their arms around Enjolras’ neck, sending them both sprawling onto the floor where they remained, laughing in each other’s arms. Courfeyrac had found them like that 10 minutes later and Enjolras had rolled his eyes and kissed Grantaire on the cheek as Courfeyrac took pictures.

The first time they kissed had been only days later, on their first date. Enjolras had tried really hard to cook a meal for the two of them but Grantaire had walked in to find him standing on a chair, waving a towel at the smoke detector. Their eyes falling on the burned meal on the counter, Grantaire had laughed and pulled out their phone. They had ended up having a candlelit dinner of takeaway pizza but the way Enjolras had looked at them from across that table had made Grantaire feel like they were on cloud nine. They could take over the world as long as Enjolras never stopped looking at them like that.

The relationship built from there. As far as anyone knew it was picture perfect. As far as Enjolras knew it was picture perfect. Grantaire was there through Enjolras’ highs and lows. Grantaire knew all the little things about Enjolras: his favourite brand of shampoo, the fact that he liked dark chocolate, that the necklace he always wore was a present from his mother the last time they spoke, which was 4 years ago. Enjolras had a lot of small habits. He tended to fall asleep on his laptop keyboard. This had caused Grantaire much amusement when he found Enjolras asleep with a word document open that was just typing ‘z’ over and over again. Enjolras left his shoes scattered on the floor. Enjolras hummed out of tune when he was making coffee. Drunk Enjolras was really into karaoke and tended to favour Abba. Enjolras left angry post it notes in books he disagreed with.

It was when all these things that Grantaire had deemed ‘adorable’ at the beginning started to become difficult did Grantaire realise what was happening. They found themselves sighing more in frustration when Enjolras fell asleep on his laptop. His out of tune humming became a little too much for Grantaire in the mornings. Drunk Enjolras became more embarrassing than endearing. Grantaire subconsciously started to distance themselves. They could feel that they had to remind themselves to kiss Enjolras as they left for work. Their heart didn’t flutter the way it used to when Enjolras’ hair tickled their cheeks. It wasn’t that Grantaire didn’t care about Enjolras. They did. They really did. But they also knew somewhere in their heart that this wasn’t love. Not anymore.

 

Enjolras had his arms wrapped around Grantaire and his head was buried in their chest. The bed beneath them felt cold and unwelcoming and Grantaire felt numb.

“I’m so sorry, Enjolras. I just can’t do this.”

They felt Enjolras face scrunch up against their t-shirt and his grip tighten.

“Let me just have this feeling for a little while longer.”

Grantaire could feel Enjolras gulping down tears as he clung to Grantaire as if they might disappear. He knew they would disappear.

“Enjolras. I have to leave.” Grantaire slowly extracted his arms from Enjolras’ grip and stood up. Enjolras just sat on the bed, his arms hanging limply by his side, tears silently running down his cheeks. Grantaire bent down and kissed his forehead one last time before taking the three short steps to the bedroom door. The silence was unbearable. For two people who had started with arguments and fireworks this was wrong. Everything felt wrong but, for Grantaire, staying wasn’t right either. They heard Enjolras let out a small whimper as Grantaire grabbed his coat from his desk chair. They screwed their eyes shut. They couldn’t look Enjolras in the eyes now. They shrugged on their jacket and left.

Enjolras watched Grantaire’s back until the front door closed, obscuring him from view. His hands started shaking and he started sobbing uncontrollably. He knew if he stood up now his legs would not hold his weight. What had he done? Why did nothing ever work out for him? His mind was on fire.

Grantaire went back to their flat and packed a bag. They didn’t expect the rest of the group to take their side and he understood. They knew they had probably broken Enjolras’ spirit but he also knew Enjolras was strong. With his friends to support him, he would be ok in time. They had to hope he would be. As he packed his bag he could feel his hands shaking with the adrenaline of the situation. They sat themselves down on the couch and cracked open a beer. Since dating Enjolras they had managed to control their drinking habits. They weighed up the idea of drinking a little more than usual for this particular occasion but decided against it. They had tried. They had really done their best, hadn’t they? Grantaire sighed. They opened their laptop and booked a flight. They needed to be away. Quickly, they stuffed the laptop in their bag and swung it over their shoulder. They switched off all the lights and pulled to door closed behind them.

 

Enjolras stayed in bed for three whole days. It wasn’t unusual for him to shut himself away for this long so it wasn’t until he ignored six calls in a row that Combeferre came to check on him. He found Enjolras curled up in bed, hair sticking to his brow, shaking with tears.

“Oh my god Enjolras.”

“They’re gone.”

Combeferre looked around. The tell-tale signs of Grantaire that used to litter Enjolras’ room had disappeared. There was no Jacket draped over the chair. There were no recent cigarette butts in the makeshift ashtray on the windowsill. It slowly dawned on Combeferre what had happened.

“No one’s heard from R in days. They’ve not been at their flat… we assumed you were together. Oh my god Enjolras I’m so sorry.”

Combeferre wrapped his arms around Enjolras’ shaking figure. “What happened?”

“They don't love me anymore.”


End file.
